Someone asked Beverly
how she managed to stay
married to Bob for 60 years.
"Never load the gun."
'Yesterday is history,
tomorrow is a mystery,
today is a gift;
that's why we call it
[Thanks Anne McCusker]
Donald and Hillary Go Into A Bakery on the Campaign Trail.
As soon as they enter the bakery, Hillary steals three pastries and puts them in her pocket.
She says to Donald, "See how clever I am?
The owner didn't see anything and I don't even need to lie."
I will definitely win the election.
The Donald says to Hillary, "That's the typical dishonesty you have displayed throughout your entire life, trickery and deceit. I am going to show you an honest way to get the same result."
Donald goes to the owner of the bakery and says, "Give me a pastry and I will show you a magic trick."
Intrigued, the owner accepts and gives him a pastry.
Trump swallows it and asks for another one.
The owner gives him another one.
Then Donald asks for a third pastry and eats that, too.
The owner is starting to wonder where the magic trick is and asks, "What did you do with the pastries?"
Trump replies, "Look in Hillary's pocket"...
[Thanks Tom Schaefer]
[Thanks Jim Green]
Who will end up in
the Paris Wax Museum?
Tune in November 8/9.
[Thanks Cindy Hurley Kraft]
* * * * *
zealots are running
colleges these days.
They won't be satisfied
until every college freshman
is a Spanish-speaking
One college application
form has eight boxes
to select from for
Gender; and it's okay
to check more than one.
"I don't think dropping your pants and instructing a state employee to "kiss it", or groping the breasts of a grieving widow, or telling a woman after you've raped her twice that "you might want to put some ice on that" meets the minimum definition of an "affair".But evidently "the 42nd president's charm" still works on ... Liberal media. "After all, he's our guy."~ Mark Styen[And let's face it:She is boring and lies for a living.]
Having arrived at the Gates of Heaven, Barack Obama meets a
man with a beard.
'Are you Mohammed?' he asks.
'No, my son, I am St. Peter.Mohammed is higher up.' Peter
then points to a ladder that rises into the clouds.
Delighted that Mohammed should be higher than St. Peter,
Obama climbs the ladder in great strides, climbs up through
the clouds and comes into a room where he meets another
bearded man. He asks again, 'Are you Mohammed?'
'Why no,' he answers, 'I am Moses; Mohammed is higher still.'
Exhausted, but with a heart full of joy, he climbs the ladder yet
again. He discovers a larger room where he meets an Angelic
looking man with a beard. Full of hope, he asks again, 'Are you
'No, I am Jesus, the Christ; You will find Mohammed higher up.'
Mohammed higher than Jesus! Man, oh man! Obama can
hardly contain his delight and climbs and climbs ever higher.
Once again, he reaches an even larger room where he meets
this truly magnificent looking man with a silver white beard
and once again repeats his question: 'Are you Mohammed?'
he gasps as he is by now totally out of breath from all his
'No, my son, I am Almighty God, the Alpha and the Omega,
but you look exhausted. Would you like a cup of coffee?'
Obama says, 'Yes, please!'
As God looks behind him, he claps his hands and yells out:
"Yo, Mohammed, two coffees!"
As we have said before,
don't be fooled by Islam.
It is a political movement
masquerading as a religion.
67 more days
139 more days until
January 20th, 2017
and a new president
'It wouldn't be Friday
without the Follies.'