Happy New Year.
I have everything that I wanted as a
teenager, only 50 years later:
I don’t have to go to school or work.
I get an allowance every month.
I have my own pad.
I don’t have a curfew.
I have a driver’s license
and my own car.
I have ID that gets me into bars
and the liquor store.
The people I hang around with are
not scared of getting pregnant.
And I don’t have acne.
Life is great.
[Thanks Tom Schaefer]
Steamboat Springs, CO this week
Sad, sadder, saddest mail trucks
Every snowflake really is different;
see more below:
A Muslim was seated next to an Irishman on a flight from London.
After the plane was airborne, drink orders were taken.
The Irishman asked for a whiskey, which was promptly brought
and placed before him.
The flight attendant then asked the Muslim, if he would like
He replied in disgust, "I'd rather be savagely raped by a
dozen whores than let liquor touch my lips."
The Irishman then handed his drink back to the attendant and
said, "Me, too, I didn't know we had a choice."
[Thanks Bob Richards]
Tallulah Gorge in North Georgia.
Can you hear those Dueling Banjos
Bobcat and fawn sought refuge
from a forest fire in an office.
Brothers in arms sought
refuge from the Islamists.
* * * * *
My husband hasn't worked for the last 14 years . All he does is get dressed in the morning and hop in his fancy car to visit his cronies . I know he's cheated on me many times with young girls who could be his grand daughters .
I know because he brags about this to me . He smokes fancy cigars and drinks the most expensive Champagne day and night . We sleep in separate beds because he`s always telling me he knows I`m a lesbian and my varicose veins and hairy back turn him off!
Should I clobber him with my frying pan, or should I leave him?
Your advice would be appreciated .....
I’m….Mad as Hell
Dear Mad as Hell,
You don`t have to take that kind of treatment from any man . I suggest you pack your bags and move out a.s.a.p.! Don`t resort to clobbering him with the frying pan, and try to act like a lady!
Remember ....... you are running for President of the United States , so try acting like one!
[Thanks Bob Richards]
“My accomplishments as Secretary of State? Well, I'm glad you asked!
My proudest accomplishment in which I take the most pride, mostly because of the opposition it faced early on, you know… the remnants of prior situations and mindsets that were too narrowly focused in a manner whereby they may have overlooked the bigger picture and we didn’t do that and I’m proud of that. Very proud. I would say that’s a major accomplishment.”
~ Hillary Clinton 11 March 2014
Mr. Clinton enjoyed cigars in the Oval Office.
That would be William Jefferson I-did-not-have-sex-with-that-woman-Ms.-Lewinsky Clinton.
We are hearing that Mrs. Clinton is planning to put Mr. Clinton out stumping for her election to help combat Mr. Trump's "penchant for sexism." (Des Moines Register 12/23/15)
Mr. Clinton is the alleged rapist, with the suspended law license to avoid a perjury conviction ($115,000 in fines) during a civil suit, in which he had to pay Ms. Paula Jones $850,000 for sexual harassment damages. ["contemptous conduct" Full case story].
Why would we want Slick Willy — Paula Jones (harassment admitted), Juanita Broadrick (rape accusation), Kathleen Willey (groping accusation) — Clinton as America’s first First Gentleman?
Then again, can you think of any company who would want to hire an untrustworthy, almost 70-year-old habitual liar, who is under a FBI investigation, as their CEO just because she is a woman?
Please let them both retire. Their work is finished.
[Thanks Jim Green]
391 more days until
January 20, 2017
and a new president.
[It can't come too soon.]
'It wouldn't be Friday without the Follies.'