One day the directors of an local Virginia finance company were called in to the chairman’s office one by one until only the newest, most junior executive was left sitting nervously outside.
“Are you absolutely sure?” persisted the chairman.
“Absolutely. I’ve never laid a finger on her.”
“You’d swear to that on a stack of bibles?”
“Yes, I swear I’ve never had a sexual relationship with your secretary.”
“Good. Then you fire her.”
[Thanks Judy Wood]
Redneck summertime ideas.
[Thanks Cindy Kraft]
[Thanks Bob Richards]
Massive new gates for the locks
of the Panama Canal expansion,
the largest construction project in the world.
- Old People are easy to spot at sporting events; during the playing of the National Anthem. Old People remove their caps, cover their hearts, stand at attention and sing without embarrassment. They know the words and believe in them.
- Old People remember World War II, Pearl Harbor, Guadalcanal ,Normandy, and Hitler. They remember the Atomic Age, the Korean War, The Cold War, the Jet Age and the Moon Landing. They remember the 50 plus Peacekeeping Missions from 1945 to 2005, not to mention Vietnam .
- If you bump into an Old People on the sidewalk he will apologize. If you pass an Old People on the street, he will nod or tip his cap to a lady. Old People trust strangers and are courtly to women and treat them with great respect.
- Old People hold the door for the next person and always, when walking, make certain the lady is on the inside for protection.
- Old People get embarrassed if someone curses in front of women and children and they don't like any filth or dirty language on TV or in movies.
- Old People have moral courage and personal integrity. They seldom brag unless it's about their children, grandchildren or their animals.
- It's the Old People who know our great country is protected, not by politicians, but by the young men and women in the military serving their country.
This country needs Old People with their work ethic, sense of responsibility, pride in their country, and decent values.
[Thanks Judy Wood]
* * * * *
Marines Kyle Carpenter, left, and Nick Eufrazio
in Afganistan, November 2010.
USMC Corporal Carpenter later threw himself
on a grenade to protect his fellow Marine.
"When Marines turned Carpenter over, they saw that he had lost most of his jaw, fractured his right arm in more than 30 places, lost an eye and sustained a host of other grave injuries. They also found the grenade’s spoon squarely under his torso."
When he arrived at the field hospital,
the doctor pronounced him dead.
However, 40 surgeries and four years later
he arrived at the White House.
Below: On June 19th, 2014
Carpenter received the Medal of Honor.
Cpl. Carpenter, the Anti-Selfie Marine,
was presented the Medal of Honor
by President Selfie.
Today, 24-year-old, 5' 5" Carpenter is a 3.9 grade point student at the University of South Carolina. He recently ran a marathon.
937 more days until
January 20, 2017
and a new president.
'It wouldn't be Friday without the Follies.'