"It says here you watched PBS for 20 years
and never pledged a contribution."
"The guys at the golf course asked me to name an
actress I would like to be stuck in an elevator with.
I told them the one who knows how to fix elevators."
[Thanks JJ Wood]
If you are the smartest person in the room, you are in the wrong room.
Nothing makes the months go by faster and the years go by slower than a ... mortgage.
If you're looking for the person to change your life forever, look in the mirror.
[Thanks Scott Nelson]
When you get what you want in your struggle for self
1925 Rolls Royce Phantom.
Average sale price $300,000.
Breaks up with you over the phone,
saying she can't be with your sorry butt anymore.
Calls you back three years later, to say how you
ruined her life and "left her" to fend for herself.
* * * * *
Warming up for the Masters.
[Thanks Jim Green]
President Jimmy Obama's defense spending philosophy.
'It wouldn't be Friday without the Follies.'