'The sky is falling ... Sequestration starts today ...
We'll all perish without 2% of Federal spending.'
A man wanted to give his mother a great gift for
Mother's Day. He found two exotic birds that could
sing, could dance and even talk. They cost $3,000 each.
So he sent them Fed EX.
On Mother's Day he called his mom.
Son: "How did you like the birds?"
Mom: "They were delicious."
Son: "You ate those birds?
Mom, they were very expensive.
They could sing, they could dance ... They could even talk."
Mom: "Well ... they should have said something."
Lori the CPA:
"Yes, you can deduct your tattoo,
if its a corporate logo."
When Lori the CPA sent us this image of her cat, Yogi, reading the web about cats and dogs, we thought is was a PhotoShop image. We used in on the Follies a few weeks ago.
Then, when she sent the second image (below) of her other cat, Jeter, looking at Yogi looking at the web, we were convinced that both were PhotoShopped.
Wrong: The images are for real, taken with Lori's phone camera. The cats are almost twins. An amazing coincidence for humorous images. Thank you, Ms. Lori the CPA.
[However, our CPA says that even if Yogi and Jeter hang out in her office, their catfood is not deductable.]
Ethnic Studies 101:
A Jewish grandmother is giving directions to her grown
grandson, who is coming to visit with his wife:
"You come to the front of the apartment building.
I am in apartment 301. There is a panel at the front door.
With your elbow, push button 301. I will buzz you in.
Come inside. The elevator is on the right. Get in.
With your elbow, push floor 3. When you get out,
I'm on the left. With your elbow, push my doorbell."
" Grandma, that sounds easy. But,why am I hitting all
these buttons with my elbow?"
"What! ... You're coming empty handed ?!"
[Thanks Steve Corbin]
Redneck Studies 101:
[Thanks Bill McCusker]
The Truth of Sequestration in Real Pie Charts:
* * * * *
The U.S. national debt of $16 trillion,
plus unfunded liabilities.
[This is a for-real image, taken under ideal
sunlight conditions. It was sent to us by our
flaming-liberal cousin, Mr. Bill Hurley, who loves
government spending. Sorry, Billy; you never
suspected we'd use it to make this argument.]
Un-celebrity U.S. president Calvin Coolidge in 1924,
with Mother Jones, a child labor reformer. He cut
taxes and the national debt "at an astonishing rate."
With our present celebrity president pissing away
our tax dollars, by flying around the nation every
day, making speeches to scare the bejusus out
low-information voters with sequestration doomsday
falsehoods and distortions, it's refreshing to read
some of what "Silent Cal" Coolidge had to say:
"Coolidge was much more than a quiet placeholder. He brought tough fiscal discipline to the presidency. Economic historian Amity Shlaes writes that Coolidge “was a rare kind of hero: a minimalist president, an economic general of budgeting and tax cuts.” He believed, notes Shlaes, that government should be kept out of the way of commerce, and he “made a virtue of inaction … Coolidge is our great refrainer.”
[A special thanks to Jim and Judy Wood, Dothan AL, for hosting us while on our spring break/golfing vacation last week. We loved every minute of our escape from ass-to-chair time at this keyboard.]
'It wouldn't be Friday without the Follies.'