May 2012 TSA Airport Screening
Results of Memorial Day Travelers:
Terrorists Discovered 0
Hemorrhoid Cases 3,172
Enlarged Prostates 8,249
Breast Implants 59, 350
Natural Blondes 3
The TSA searches in Washington D.C. also proved
that all 535 members of Congress have no balls.
[Thanks Mark Niedert]
[Thanks Bev McCusker]
[Thanks Anne McCusker]
Johnny Carson's monologue after his third divorce:
"When I was a boy, my hero was Babe Ruth.
After I got into show biz it was Jack Benny.
Now, it's Henry the Eighth."
Our grandson is on the grand adventure of a lifetime:
"Mickey Severance and Matthew Coy have hiked 500 miles on the Appalachian Trail through Georgia, North Carolina, and Tennessee, including the hardest part of the trail that goes through The Smokey Mountains.
They began their journey in early March. They hike an average of 20 miles a day on foot. When they hit hard, mountain terrain, they average 11 miles a day. They hike for 5-6 days a week and rest at least one day.
Their goal is to hike the entire Appalachian Trail which ends in Maine by September.
If you would like to help them keep hiking, monetary, food and supply donations are being accepted.
Your monetary donation will go towards the purchase of fruit & vegetables, kerosene for their portable cookware, Shuttle fare ($3-10) to go in and out of towns near the Trail, Hostel fees on the trail ($8-10) that allow them to shower, wash their laundry, eat a meal, and camp, and food that is being shipped ($15 to ship) to them on the Trail.
**If you would like to send a monetary donation to be used towards shipping and buying these food items, (for the above mentioned expenses), please send cash or check payable to Mickey's sister, so she can handle the funds transfer the best way.
Ms. Sophie Renker
3018 Gailer Dr.
San Antonio, TX 78230
* * * * *
for lawyers and IRS agents:
~ ObamaCare is 2,471 pages, with over 10,000 pages
of regulations being written. Example: One six-page
section required 427 pages of regulations.
~ Dodd-Frank Financial Reform is 2,319 pages with
even more regulations coming along.
So, what's to worry about. There will be plenty
of jobs for all if I am re-elected."
'It wouldn't be Friday without the Follies.'