A Tale of Twins
A census taker in a rural area went up to a farmhouse and knocked.
When a woman came to the door, he asked her how many children she had and their ages.
She said, "Les' see now, there's the twins, Sally and Billy, they're thirty-two.
And the twins, Seth & Beth, they're twenty-six.
And the twins, Penny and Jenny, they're twenty-four ... "
"Hold on!" said the census taker, "Did you get twins EVERY time?"
The woman answered, " Heck no, there were hundreds of
times we didn't get nothin."
[Thanks Judy Wood]
I've never written to you before, but I really need your advice on what
could be a crucial decision. I've suspected for some time now that my
wife has been cheating on me.
The usual signs... phone rings but if I answer, the caller hangs up.
wife has been going out with the girls a lot recently although when I
ask their names she always says, "Just some friends from work, you don't
I always stay awake to look out for her taxi coming home, but she always
walks down the drive. Although I can hear a car driving off, as if she
has gotten out of the car round the corner. Why? Maybe she wasn't in a
I once picked her cell phone up just to see what time it was and
she went berserk and screamed that I should never touch her phone again
and why was I checking up on her.
Anyway, I have never approached the subject with my wife. I think deep
down I just didn't want to know the truth, but last night she went out
again and I decided to really check on her.
I decided I was going to park my Harley Davidson motor cycle next to the
garage and then hide behind it so I could get a good view of the whole
street when she came home. It was at that moment, crouching behind my
Harley, that I noticed that the valve covers on my engine seemed to be
leaking a little oil.
Is this something I can fix myself or should I take it back to the
[Thanks Chuck Gardner]
The Joke's On Kerry; He Never Misses an Opportunity to Miss an Opportunity
These two gals and six guys have just sunk Lt. Kerry's boat for '08. They are a unit of the Minnesota National Guard stationed south of Baghdad. Extreme image idea, no captions required.
Kerry surrendered after being water-boarded by the Dems who are running for office this year, then issued a too-late apology. His long history of troop-trashing was taking votes from the Dems. His remarks are now added to other one-liners that have doomed candidates. e.g. Mitt Romney's father George, who said "He'd been brain-washed" during his visit to the Vietnam war zone. That ended his '68 campaign in days.
[Thanks Sue Schauls: Please, no letters to editor; we love cats too.]
"Rick, I'm shocked ... Shocked that Kerry would disparage those of us in uniform."