Bob, a smooth semi-retired dude, walked into a sports bar around 9:58 PM. He sat down
next to a blonde at the bar and stared up at the TV. The 10:00 PM news was
coming on. The news crew was covering a story of a man on a ledge of a large
building preparing to jump.
The blonde looked at Bob and said, "Do you think he'll jump?"
Bob says, "You know, I bet he'll jump."
The blonde replied, "Well, I bet he won't."
Bob placed a $20 bill on the bar and said, "You're on!"
Just as the blonde placed her money on the bar, the guy on the ledge did a
swan dive off the building, falling to his death.
The blonde was very upset, but willingly handed her $20 to Bob, saying,
"Fair's fair. Here's your money."
Bob replied, "I can't take your money, I saw this earlier on the 5 PM news
and so I knew he would jump."
The blond replied, "I saw it too; but I didn't think he'd do it again."
Bob took the money.
[Thanks Charles Gardner]
Redneck Wedding Cake
[Thanks Anne McCusker]
How to Sneak Out Early on Fridays
Our New Branch Office in Colorado
Early fast food drive-through lane concept.
Remember the Fourth of July when you were a kid? You thought twenty dollars would last forever, and Labor Day would never come so you'd have to back to school. You could spend all day playing baseball or going to the swimming pool, where you'd pee in water and get away with it.
Then one day, we were all grown up and other kids got to play with sparklers. Damn.
In the interest of keeping the current news about Marines murdering innocent Iraqis fair and balanced, I offer this image.
Gunnery Sgt. Mike Burghard was on his third tour of duty in Iraq as a bomb disposal expert. He earned a Bronze Star for disarming 64 IEDs before taking a blast in his rear end from an insurgent's remote-controlled IED.
Rather than being taken away on a stretcher, he walked to the medivac chopper. Then he threw a defiant one-finger salute to the SOB who set off the device and was most likely watching through binoculars. That my friends, makes me very, very proud to have been a Marine.
Charles Taylor, the butcher of Liberia arrives at the Hague for a crimes-against-humanity trial. Mark my words, Taylor will die of old age before the Europeans ever agree on a verdict. Just like Milosevic. Like most crooked New Orleans U.S. Congressmen, he'll be re-elected at home if he ever gets out of jail.
Donald Rumsfeld briefed the President this morning. He told Bush that 3 Brazilian soldiers were killed in Iraq. To everyone's amazement, all of the color ran from Bush's face, then he collapsed onto his desk, head in hands, visibly shaken, almost whimpering.
Finally, he composed himself and asked Rumsfeld, "Just exactly how many is a brazillion?"
[Thanks Carol Hawkins]
2009 Camero concept car.
Somehow the looks on their faces don't quite live up to all the signs.
2006 Morgan convetible, only $109,995.
Like a bridge over troubled waters, I will lay down my pack.